I once told my mother I was ready to leave for the city,
To build a new life, to discover a new freedom.
Forsaking the known for the unknown, they said it’s a pity,
A lone tear betrayed her eyes, a sight I saw seldom.
My friends are going with me, I told her,
‘Beware of their hearts’ was all she whispered.
I took a wagon to the city, took all my friends with me,
We loved, we gave, we fought, we played.
Kasha pulled us into an uncertain future, to all that could be,
The wind flirted with his charcoal mane, we traveled unafraid.
I sat in the front, feeling the warmth of the morning sun,
Ignoring the disturbance slowly consuming my heart.
Then they began to fall out, one after another,
An ocean of darkness descended upon the landscape.
Hadn’t we vowed to live, to die, to bear it all together?
Soon I saw they weren’t falling, they had always meant to escape.
I strained against the wooden plank until my arms bled,
Reaching out to friends who didn’t want to look back.
A storm brewed in the distance and I pulled Kasha’s reins,
I couldn’t go any further without knowing the reason why.
They went on with their lives, building home in these plains,
Why was everyone gone without even a goodbye?
I went to every door, every window,
Every lock had turned, every curtain was drawn.
In times of desperation, I hurled stones at them,
In times of desolation, I waited silently outside.
The soft breeze put me to sleep, what was left to condemn?
I felt the sand slipping from my hand, little grains of my pride.
My heart was misunderstood, love had not been enough,
There came snow, there came rain, but there came no friend.
I rose with the sun the morning next, saw Kasha waiting for me,
At the end of the road he stood, mocking my state.
I looked back at their homes, there was no meaning left in ‘we’.
I brushed the dust off my sandals, walked and welcomed my fate.
I kissed Kasha on the forehead, bid him farewell.
Still feeling his gentle nudge, I turned and took the road to the city.
My heart had been walked over, but I still carry the love,
The pain was evanescent, the longing buried in the past.
Strength met me halfway now that push had come to shove,
My solitude is my listener, my dreams are my friends to last.
I still walk and sometimes, fear overpowers my entire being,
But nothing touches my resolve of steel. Behind me,
The sound of Kasha’s soft trots takes me home,
He chose never to leave, and is still walking along.